oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
