You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
