i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
