Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
