I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
