Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
