You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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