think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
