I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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