Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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