worst night to have a conscience
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
