woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
