Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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