I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
