I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
