xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
