I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We got so high we made milksteak
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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