The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
