I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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