Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize