i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
