I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize