frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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