i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
