margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
