Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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