OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
