ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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