Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
