yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Come share oat with me in your robe
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
