hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
