is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The uberlube is also flammable
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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