Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
