not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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