erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
