I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
