Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
