didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
is that a dick in a sweater?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
