woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Randomize