It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
