4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
