the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
