We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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