you guys were way drunker than both of me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
