i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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