heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
