In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
