Do vagina's smell?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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