That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
