They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
