I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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