My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
