Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
