saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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