You just made me feel so damn special
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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