Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
