she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize