God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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