Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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