Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
