you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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